See you at the bitter end
by Elithien
Summary: Maeglin's thoughts on Idril, coalesced with the story 'Poor Maeglin', but you do not have to read that to read this. This is short and angsty.


**Disclaimer – **Everything in this story is taken from the book _The Silmarillion _written by JRR Tolkien. I own nothing. 

*

Evenfall has come and naught but the lights of Elbereth exist in the city. All are in their halls and homes and a quiet has come, creeping through the valley of Tumladen like a silhouetted gloom, spreading his etching fingers through every fissure. They mourn and wonder for again the news of Morgotho's spreading darkness has reached our ears. 

Where are you? You are no where to be seen. Are you hiding too? 

Oh Idril. Beautiful, flawless, lovely Idril. Fairest of all wonders in white stoned Gondolin. Indeed the most fairest and beloved to Turgon and all of Gondolin. 

You feel the burdens of the world upon you and you feel the shadow, the growing shadow that has covered your heart. Is it the shadow of Nargothrond that covers your mind? 

Why now have you hardened thoughts against me, my cousin? What is this coldness in your heart? Do you fear me Idril? 'Twas not I who brought the downfall of Finarfin's sons. What have you against the child of Aredhel, your father's sister. Oh Idril, do you not see a Noldo in me, a Noldo like yourself? Must you turn your back to me always Idril? 

Oh Idril, fair, flawless Idril of sparkling brilliance, what have you done? Why have you wed him Idril, he a mortal man? What have you done? You have mingled the blood of the fair Eldar with the Edain. You have borne to him a son. 

Why Idril? Do you not see just how we are alike and how we may help each other, Idril? We both have lost our mothers, we are both half Noldor, we both have the love of Turgon and Gondolin, we have both faced hardships and found bliss in the valleys of Tumladen. 

And still you are cold to me. 'Twas not I who marshalled the foul of Morgotho, nor was it I who brought the downfall of Nargothrond. No Idril, not I. 'Twas your kin by marriage. The son of Húrin, brother of Huor, your husbands father. Oh Idril why have you mingled with them?

Fair Idril. My fair and flawless Idril. Would you rather give yourself to him than you would to me Idril? Am I so vile? Idril…fair…beautiful…flawless… Idril. Do you know how happy I could make you, with you as my wife? After Turgon it could be you and I, Idril, the successors of Gondolin. 

You say your beauty is not for my eyes. How if I were to turn my sword upon your husband and strip him from his eyes, his life. How if I were to tear your son to pieces and your husband? Then would you allow my eyes to see you, Idril? I am Aredhel Ar-Feiniel's son, would you not let me see you?

Do you see me Idril? Do you see Maeglin for who he truly is? Do you understand him Idril? Do you pity him for his bent state, the bent state in which you have put him in. Fair Idril, fair, beautiful, golden haired Idril, what have you done? What have you done to Aredhel's child? Will you shun him all your days? 

Will you love me Idril? Will you love me like you have loved no other? Will you let me have you for my own? Will you let me touch you, let me feel you in my arms? Will you let me explore every crevice, ever contour of your body? Will you let me breathe in the scent of your Vanyarin hair? Will you let me taste every drop of you? Will you let my lips cover every inch of your body, let my fingertips roam freely where I wish? Will you lay before me as a banquet filled with exotic foods? Will you let me enter you, enter you body, your heart, your soul? Will you spill your secrets, dreams and desires to me? Will you let me consume you in with fire? Will you?

Idril…

Will you tremble under my touch Idril? Will you cry out to me in the pinnacle of passion? Will you let me drive you to the point where you feel nothing, you see nothing, you sense nothing, you know nothing, you breathe nothing, but me? Will you scream my name Idril, over and over again as I lavish attention upon and you show you things of pleasure you would have never known or felt before? Will you let my breath linger upon your skin when I have finished with you? Will you let me make it so that you would never want to leave my side again, that you would want no other lover, no other husband than me? Idril…my Idril Celebrindal…will you love me? Will you be so warm, tender and inviting to me, as you are with Tuor? So soft and willing to my touch…so warm and inviting…with honey and wine…divulgent…succulent….warm…tender….beautiful….fair…flawless…Idril. Will you let me have you? 

I know you it, that some day you will love me Idril. You love me and you will come to me when I call you. 

Idril…Idril…Idril…Idril…

My love, Idril. Most fairest of all wonders in Gondolin, with skin like powder and hair like the light of Laurelin unmarred. More sweeter than honey straight from the comb and more satisfying than the last drop of wine left in the pitcher. Idril…

Oh Idril, fair beautiful flawless Idril. You still hurt me. 

You still taunt me with your eyes. I see it when you look at me you taunt me everytime. You mock me because you save your sweetest embraces for the mortal and your softest voice for your son. Such a beautiful face has he, the beauty of his mother. But no! The beauty of Idril Celebrindal, the sparling brilliance of Gondolin, is not for my eyes, is it Idril? 

But you gave yourself to him, did you not Idril. You are too late. You cannot change what you have done, nor what I have done. 

Yes Idril, you know. I see it in your eyes the fear you hold, though you show it not. You know what I have done don't you? You know what I have done with those seeds. You see that I have scattered them, left a trail from the pits pf Angband to the very road to Gondolin. 

Oh Idril. My fair, flawless Idril. To what has this come to? Why must you have made it as such? It will be you who will bring the downfall of Gondolin, Idril. You, not I. Fair Idril, such a pity that your hand must be given to me by force, but fear not my cousin. After you will be my wife and I shall treat you good. I will Idril, you have my promise. You will be my wife, my queen and you shall bear me children, heirs to my thrown, of pure Eldar blood. 

Too late Idril… I debated long in my head to the point where I could not think straight. I told him. I told him everything for you. I told him and he will come for us. I loved you Idril. I loved you and I still love you. You spat in my face Idril. You laughed at me. You mocked me. You thought of all such things about me though you said or did none. I heard it Idril. I heard it all, all that you did not say. I heard I perceived from you. I am not a mortal Idril and you cannot hide from me. I am Maeglin, Sharp glance for a reason! I loved you Idril, we could have been together happily! I loved you and I love you. You have ruined it Idril, you have ruined us and me! You have marred me you have warped my mind with your cursed beauty! You have ruined me Idril and I shall inturn ruin you. I hope you cannot sleep and you dream about me and when you dream I hope you cannot sleep and you scream for me, scream my name like how you will when you are my wife. I know you see me Idril and I see you now. I will see you at the bitter end. 

Are you frightened of me Idril? Yes, yes you are. You feel the evil I have done, for the sake of your hand. You see it. You smell it. You feel it within reach of your fingertips. You feel my evil. You feel my darkness. Now taste it. Taste it Idril. Taste my darkness. Drink from my cup. Feel the power Idril, feel it and be possessed! Let it eat at your conscience, let it eat at your soul and your mind. Taste it. Drink it. Embrace it. Hold it to your heart. Hold me to your heart. Hold me. Have me. Taste me and let me taste you in return. Let me possess you and you in turn possess me. Let me have you Idril. Let me hold you. Let me give you all you have ever wanted. Give yourself to me. Surrender to me, son of Eöl! 

_Oh Maeglin…poor, little Maeglin. Poor little ill-begotten son of Eöl. What have you done Maeglin? What are these seeds? Did you know I felt sorry for you Maeglin, I did Maeglin, believe me I did. Ill-begotten son of Eöl. What have you done Maeglin? What have you done… _

Idril…oh Idril…Idril Celebrindal. Fair maiden. Such a fair, fair maiden. Like a star in the heavens but more beautiful. Far, far more beautiful. Idril. Idril. Will you forgive me for what I have done? Will you find it somewhere within your heart to love me? Idril…Idril please? Please Idril, fair daughter of the Gondolindrim. Idril. Idril. Idril please? Just tell me you love me. Tell me Idril. Idril. Idril please? Idril, my fair cousin. Please?

Oh Idril. Fair sweet little Idril. You have made the wrong decisions. But I see you now and you see me. And I will you see you at the bitter end. You have made the wrong decisions, sweet Idril. But I will try to make them right for you and I. I will see you Idril. I will see you at the bitter end. 

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Notes:

*Gondolindrim – the people of Gondolin. 

**Idril's name is the Sindarin form derived from the Quenya, Itarillë or Itarildë, meaning 'sparkling brilliance' hence the lines _Idril of sparkling brilliance_ etc.

I understand that this is quite angsty and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be, but Maeglin has a mind of his own and took over my fingers as I typed. I wanted him to be slightly…subtler. Oh well. 

Tell me what you think about this fic. If you like you can go to my author page thingy and read my story called _Poor Maeglin_ which is Idril's thoughts of Maeglin, which too is slightly angsty…I have a problem with angst and sad stories. Excuse me. 


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